Friendship and New Blog!

Dear Friends,

Today is the last day we will post on this blog. Our new blog: http://prayingthroughlife.com

is up and running! We are excited for our new journey and grateful for you who read. It truly is our great joy to write. Please hop over to our new spot and join us as we continue to share what we feel God lays on our heart. 

Thanks for walking through the journey with us!

With Gratitude,

Jill and Leeanne

http://prayingthroughlife.com

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1 Samuel 18:1-3 As soon as he had finished speaking to Saul, the soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul. And Saul took him that day and would not let him return to his father’s house. Then Jonathan made a covenant with David, because he loved him as his own soul.

Today is going to be another glorious Carolina day!  I love to get up early and spend time reading and now that Spring is here I love hearing the birds first thing in the morning. The past few weeks I have been thinking about friendship. One of the great things about Facebook is that I have had the joy to reconnect with some old friends. I had 4 roommates my freshman and sophomore year in college - one true roommate and two suite mates. We formed a close bond and were like sisters. All our birthdays were 7 days apart. We were inseparable. Then life begins to unfold our stories and we go in different directions. We have connected again through the marriages, pains of divorce, children, careers, states that separate, and then, initially, uncertain of whether the bond was still intact.

Gratefully, the bond is there and I would say after 23 years, it is stronger. This summer we are having a "reunion" at our friends home in Florida. I cannot wait to hug them all and share the stories of lives together since we walked across that stage.

Then, over Easter, I got to see two sweet friends I literally grew up at my parent's church. These are girls I went to kindergarten with. We embraced and chatted and I ended both conversations with them with an "I love you". Real bonds are there. Even after 25 years. When you have truly walked through life with people - the good and bad - there is a bond. It cannot be removed by human hands. I left church Sunday happy for many reasons. But, it brought back so many amazing memories of people who truly have shaped my life. David and Jonathan in scripture had a bond that could not be broken. It was such a deep affection for each other that only could be given by God himself.

Monday, I was working out at the Y and a friend I don't see often, but have recently reconnected with, came over and we were chatting. We got into a deep conversation about a few things going on in our lives and her words and attentiveness to me blessed me so much. I felt the Lord personally sent her over to talk to me and give me the words I need for that day.

So many different scenarios of friendship- college friendships, friends from birth, a friend walking over giving an encouraging word- all equally extravagant.

I am also in awe of how God brings people into your life that are new friends but exactly what you need for "such a time as this". Whether 30 year friendships or 3 month friendships, they are special. They are beautiful. Sometimes, they get messy. Sometimes they disappoint. Sometimes expectations get out of sorts. Sometimes they must end. But, today, I stand in great awe and wonder of those friends in my life that pour into me. That know me and want to be a part of my life. I am grateful for those friends that check in on me, pray for me, care for me, and don't judge me. They spur me on and build me up and make me laugh. Those are the friendships I cherish today. And in all of them, a thread of grace is woven deeply into the roots of our lives. We all need grace. We all need friends.

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Today we are linking up at: http://holleygerth.com/coffee-for-your-heart-love/

Go check out the site! It is beautiful and encouraging! 

With JOY,

Leeanne

A Different Easter

Deuteronomy 6:7

(NASB)

You shall teach them diligently to your sons and shall talk of them when you sit in your house and when you walk by the way and when you lie down and when you rise up.

This past weekend was so wonderful for our family. We got to spend Easter at my parents home and enjoy some down time. I watched a great "Easter" movie from the 1950's with Rachel and ran around my parents 9 acres with the kids. We picked up sticks, did Easter egg hunts, made mud pies, looked at ants, and just enjoyed one another for a couple of days.

Leading up to Easter (I fully admit) I didn't do a lot of "Easter" things with them. We didn't dye eggs this year or have our Easter egg hunt with neighbors. We didn't color pictures of the tomb, or do fun crafts from Oriental Trading. I saw a beautiful picture on a friends FB post of a stunning stain-glass cross they made and I thought, "how beautiful". I pinned tons from Pinterest but this year it was different. I wasn't too busy to do the crafts, or lack the desire or creativity to do it. I didn't feel envious of others crafts or what they did to celebrate the resurrection. We didn't really do anything but this:  we talked about Easter. We talked about it when we brushed our teeth. We talked about when we ate breakfast. We talked about during devotionals. We talked about on the way to the Y. We talked about on the way home from the Y. We talked about when we ate lunch, dinner, played outside, and when we went to bed. This year, we really, really dove in to what Easter is just by talking about it.

My daughter is a verbal learner and she asked some of the most amazing questions. I was intentional, yes, but I also just shared to joy for Christ with my children because I love Him. I love Christ. I felt it overflowing from my heart to their ears and it brought me great comfort to know they were listening.

So, fellow Moms, take heart!  Some years will look very different from what you think or anticipate it to be. But, sometimes, we just need to listen to that quiet whisper that tells you to do it a little different this time.

Yes, yes, yes, it was the most glorious Easter. Simply, because I thought continuously about Christ.

With JOY,
Leeanne

Easter

Yesterday, I was actually folding laundry (shocker to me too) and thinking about Good Friday. It was around 3pm which is close to the biblical account for when Jesus actually submitted His spirit over and died. I thought to myself how insignificant of a task I am doing right now in comparison to Christ's death on the cross. I wasn't feeling convicted or thought I should run out and proclaim Christ to someone at that very moment but it was a quiet reminder to me how magnificient the cross is. How 2000 years later I can fold laundry and feel this deep sense of gratitude and grief all mixed in one thought. Grief for my sin and grateful for a sin bearer. 

I cannot and will never be able to pay for the penalty of my sin. But Christ did. Once - covered.  Today, I plan to think about what the disciples and those who loved Jesus must have felt like the day after His death. Were they completely drained of all hope?  What about Mary, his Mother? Where would they look for joy?  It is good to think about these things. The sin and shame of the cross is real and I don't want to not think about it this weekend. 

The question I want to ask myself personally today is this - Am I fighting sin in my own life?
Grateful for the cross,
Leeanne

The Crucifixion       33And when they came to a place called Golgotha, which means Place of a Skull, 34they gave Him wine to drink mixed with gall; and after tasting it, He was unwilling to drink.       35And when they had crucified Him, they divided up His garments among themselves by casting lots. 36And sitting down, they began to keep watch over Him there. 37And above His head they put up the charge against Him which read, “THIS IS JESUS THE KING OF THE JEWS.”       38At that time two robbers were crucified with Him, one on the right and one on the left. 39And those passing by were hurling abuse at Him, wagging their heads 40and saying, “You who are going to destroy the temple and rebuild it in three days, save Yourself! If You are the Son of God, come down from the cross.” 41In the same way the chief priests also, along with the scribes and elders, were mocking Him and saying, 42“He saved others; He cannot save Himself. He is the King of Israel; let Him now come down from the cross, and we will believe in Him. 43“HE TRUSTS IN GOD; LET GOD RESCUE Him now, IF HEDELIGHTS IN HIM; for He said, ‘I am the Son of God.’” 44The robbers who had been crucified with Him were also insulting Him with the same words.       45Now from the sixth hour darkness fell upon all the land until the ninth hour. 46About the ninth hour Jesus cried out with a loud voice, saying, “ELI, ELI, LAMA SABACHTHANI?” that is, “MY GOD, MY GOD, WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN ME?” 47And some of those who were standing there, when they heard it, began saying, “This man is calling for Elijah.” 48Immediately one of them ran, and taking a sponge, he filled it with sour wine and put it on a reed, and gave Him a drink. 49But the rest of them said, “Let us see whether Elijah will come to save Him.” 50And Jesus cried out again with a loud voice, and yielded up His spirit. 51And behold, the veil of the temple was torn in two from top to bottom; and the earth shook and the rocks were split. 52The tombs were opened, and many bodies of the saints who had fallen asleep were raised; 53and coming out of the tombs after His resurrection they entered the holy city and appeared to many. 54Now the centurion, and those who were with him keeping guard over Jesus, when they saw the earthquake and the things that were happening, became very frightened and said, “Truly this was the Son of God!”       55Many women were there looking on from a distance, who had followed Jesus from Galilee while ministering to Him.56Among them was Mary Magdalene, and Mary the mother of James and Joseph, and the mother of the sons of Zebedee.

The Triumphant Entry

This past Sunday we celebrated Palm Sunday. The irony of Palm Sunday and then Good Friday have always puzzled me. Ironic because one day we celebrate the arrival of the fulfillment of the Messiah and days later we murder Him. It is weighty to grasp the change of the human heart in just a matter of days but in reality my heart is just like that. 

One minute I can praise Him with hands raised and a spirit consumed with joy and then days later completely sin against His holy name. Sometimes it isn't' conscious. Sometimes it is purposeful. 

Our pastor said something on Sunday that has consumed my thoughts this week. He said one day we will stand before God and He will say, "Why did you live in rebellion against my Holy Name"? 

Wow. 

What will I say?  I told my husband that I don't think at that moment, being face to face with the Creator of the Universe, I will be able to formulate all the "good things" I have done.  Lord, "I served at church, I rocked babies in the nursery, I took meals to friends when they were sick, I love my husband and children well.... Lord, I did a lot of great things in your name".

No... I won't be saying that. I don't think I'll even be able to hold my head up and view His holiness. I think I will be bowed on my face before Him and say, "Lord, I'm a sinner covered with the blood of Jesus. That is all I bring you is the blood of Christ". 

I believe that is what will happen. And because of the perfect work of Christ on the cross, I can confidently say that God will look at me and say, "well done".

He will not look at my heart, my sins, my good deeds. He will overlook all of that because I am washed in the blood of Jesus.

That is why I smile this week. It is a weighty week for those who love Jesus. But it is a beautiful story of an unrelenting Savior after His people. 

Washed in the blood.. Cross.. Redeemed... Forgiven... Christ...  Risen... 

That is Easter. Do you know Jesus?  

"Believe in the Lord Jesus Christ and you will be saved" (Acts 16:31)

With Great Hope in Him,
Leeanne

 Matthew 21:1-11:

As they approached Jerusalem and came to Bethphage on the Mount of Olives, Jesus sent two disciples, saying to them, “Go to the village ahead of you, and at once you will find a donkey tied there, with her colt by her. Untie them and bring them to me. If anyone says anything to you, say that the Lord needs them, and he will send them right away.”

This took place to fulfill what was spoken through the prophet:

“Say to Daughter Zion,
‘See, your king comes to you,
gentle and riding on a donkey,
and on a colt, the foal of a donkey.’”

The disciples went and did as Jesus had instructed them. They brought the donkey and the colt and placed their cloaks on them for Jesus to sit on. A very large crowd spread their cloaks on the road, while others cut branches from the trees and spread them on the road. The crowds that went ahead of him and those that followed shouted,

“Hosanna to the Son of David!”

“Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord!”

“Hosanna in the highest heaven!”

When Jesus entered Jerusalem, the whole city was stirred and asked, “Who is this?”

The crowds answered, “This is Jesus, the prophet from Nazareth in Galilee.”

God's Action or Inaction

This devotional resonated with me today. There are so many things I am praying and waiting on an answer for. The Lord is faithful whether He is silent or speaking. As I was writing in my journal this month, my prayers started with "Dear Lord, please allow this, this, and this, to happen. Please grant us favor with this or this or this"...  After weeks of pouring it out and feeling frustrated I realized my heart needed to change. This week I wrote, "Lord, grant us any and every request if it is for our good. If your plans are different then they are better and we receive them with joy".  This week, my heart has been light and joyful. Not because the answers have come but I know He is faithful to provide exactly what we need.

With joy,
Leeanne


Praying and Waiting
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Habakkuk 2:1

Additional Scripture Readings: Psalm 130:5–7; Lamentations 3:24–26

There are so many ways in which God’s actions or inactions make little sense
to us. We ask him for help, and he is silent. We trust in him to provide, and
he withholds. But is God inconsistent, or is he simply running according to
another time schedule, another set of priorities?

Habakkuk questions God’s plan to use the pagan nation of Babylon to discipline
wayward Israel. He then settles in to wait for God’s answer: “I will stand at
my watch and station myself on the ramparts; I will look to see what he will
say to me, and what answer I am to give to this complaint” (Habakkuk 2:1).
Like a guard who waits through his watch with eyes peeled for a sign of
movement, Habakkuk waited for God.

So must we. We must pray with a willingness to wait and wait with a
willingness to pray. Waiting and praying go together. Like two shoes of a pair
or two halves of a whole, they work as a team. 

NIV Devotions for Moms
Bible Gateway

Joy

James 1:2-4  Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.

Perspective is everything.  Did you ever stop in the middle of a bad situation and re-frame it to look totally different?  James says to, "Consider it pure joy, " in the midst of a trial.  I can assure you this does not come natural to thank The Lord as some has just stolen your purse and wallet, when the stomach flu is making it's round in your family, when your best friend has just been diagnosed with cancer.  You name the trial.  What are you dealing with today?

This past weekend a lovely virus decided to pay a visit to our home.  And this is a week that my husband is traveling.  Here are two thought patterns:

Thought Pattern #1

- Why does this always happen to me?

- Now I'm not going to be able to get a good night sleep.

- I will have to call in sick to work and make sub plans, which is not fun.

Thought Pattern #2

- Thank you Lord for everyone not having this illness all at the same time.

- Thank you for allowing me to have a day off to spend with my child alone.

- Thank you Lord for choosing me to nurse my children back to health.

Considering any trial pure joy does not come naturally in the flesh.  Notice that all of my thoughts from the first one are all about me.  The second one is about God and others.  A simple acronym that I learned years ago was, If your want pure JOY, put J-esus first, O-thers second and then Y-ourself.  It has proven to be a good motto in my own life.  God has a plan and purpose in all of our trials.

With Joy, Jill

Testimony Tuesday

We are so blessed to have our friend Kim Braddy share her testimony with us!  You will be blessed by God's faithfulness in her life!

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Blessings

So often when I think of blessings, I think about all the amazing things God has blessed me with:  air to breathe, sunshine, my home, dinner, my sweet kids or my awesome husband.  That's what I use to think about when I thought of blessings.  That was before the sad loss of 4 babies during 3 pregnancies.  After my first daughter was born, I found out I was expecting again less than a year after her birth.  We were so excited to be having another baby and expanding our family and felt so thankful that the Lord allowed us to get pregnant so easily.  I went to my 10 week appointment at the OB and heard the sweet sound of my baby's beating heart!  

I went back a month later for an ultrasound and knew the moment the screen popped up that something was wrong.  There was just no movement at all. The Dr. just stared at me and said they were sorry and asked if I needed a minute.  I was left in the room sobbing with my one year old in the stroller.  All I wanted to do was hold her and cry!  I remember calling my mom and my husband and telling them that our baby had died.  I had so many questions.  The baby was healthy with a strong heart beat just a few weeks earlier.  How could something like this happen?  I am a healthy person and my first pregnancy was perfect.  What could have gone wrong?  Did I do something that caused this to happen?

 As any woman who has dealt with this knows, there are no answers to these questions.  The Dr. explained that with all the things that have to come together just right in a pregnancy, that there is a surprisingly high percentage of the time that something doesn't happen just right and your body's way of dealing with that is for the pregnancy to stop growing.  Of course, this answer is not helpful because it is really not an answer at all.  

They are basically saying they have no idea why this happens but it sometimes just does.  Isaiah 55:8-9 "For my thoughts are not your thoughts or my ways your ways, declares the Lord.  As the Heavens are higher than the earth so are my ways higher than your ways and my thoughts than your thoughts".  I cried for days and wondered if I would ever again open my eyes in the morning and this not be the first thing I think about. Lamentations 3:22-23 "The Lord's loving kindnesses indeed never cease, for His compassions never fail.  They are new every morning, great is your faithfulness."  Would I ever be able to get pregnant again?  Would this happen again if I did?  

Well, both questions were quickly answered.  I got pregnant just a few months later, only to miscarry once again.  The first time this happened I was so full of sorrow; but this time I was angry.  I had been walking with the Lord for about 5 years at this point in my life and didn't understand how He could let this happen.  It almost felt mean.  Why not just keep me from getting pregnant in the first place?  I was angry and I told God all about it, even though He already knew my heart.  After continuing to wrestle with God about this, I had 2 more healthy, beautiful children a few years later.  However, when my son was almost 3, I once again found myself in the Dr.'s office for some weird symptoms that I was concerned about.  I thought the Dr. was going to tell me that I had an infection, but to my surprise, the Dr. told me I was pregnant.  This was a complete shock!  My husband and I thought we were "done" having kids. 

   Part two tomorrow....  

Teach Us to Pray

Luke 11:1 Lord, teach us to pray.

This weekend at church I was challenged and asked if my prayers were more for my own comfort, safety and current events in my life or were they more heavenly-minded, gospel-centered and mission minded? 

During our nightly devotions as a family, we all take turns praying.  My six year old likes to go first and his prayers are sweet, but do not vary much.  He thanks God for the roof over our head, food on the table and whatever he had fun doing that day.  He may occasionally pray for someone or something else but he is growing. My middle one who is seven is my prayer warrior.  She prays for everything and everyone.  She has a tree in the front yard she calls her, "praying tree".  She climbs it and prays.  She prays without thinking about it.  Such an example.  My oldest prays from her heart and is deep and serious.  I remember one night listening to her on the monitor when she was five years old.  She was praying to Jesus and said, "I asked you into my heart Jesus and I will never ask you out.  I will never say to come in and go out."  I laughed and cried at the same time.

My prayers vary.  The more tired I am and the less time I spend with God and in his Word, the weaker and more temporal are my prayers.  I thank Him for the day, where I saw His hand at work and pray for the next day.  As I write this, I am coming off a two week break from school.  I've had lots of rest, relaxation, play time, getting caught up on life and mostly had an abundance of time with Him and in His Word.  I feel close to my  Heavenly Father and my prayers are so much more potent.  I am reminded that we were created for Heaven.  Heaven is my home and ultimate destination. Do my daily prayers reflect that?  Sadly, not always.  But today, I'm so thankful for this time of renewal.  

Dear Lord Jesus, thank you for saving me from myself.  Thank you for choosing me to be part of your Kingdom.  You have transformed my life and heart and I'm forever grateful.  Lord, I pray that you continue to grow me and mold me into your Son's image.  Better is one day in your courts than a thousand elsewhere.  Strengthen and protect my marriage from the demands of a busy life. Help me to be an example for my children, to rear them in such a way that their foundation is unshakeable when they leave our house because You are their rock.  I pray that others come to know  You and Your saving grace through the way we live and the choices we make.  Give my children the boldness to stand firm in their faith and not be wooed by the temptations in this world.  Teach us to love like You love.  In Christ's name, Amen.

Testimony Part Two

Welcome back to Part Two of Becca's testimony!  Becca, thank you for blessing us with your story and for the end where you show How much He loves us!  

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On January 11, 2013, my first week of classes, I met a girl named Kaitlyn. I was lead to ask her about the cross bracelet she was wearing, and after class we spent hours just talking. I told her all about my life, and the guy I had been dating, and how just depressed I felt. And she listened. She didn’t judge me or condemn me for all the sins I kept committing. She told me all about her life, and how unpleasant it had been at moments. But the JOY she had just radiated off her, and it really got me thinking. If somebody who has been through some pretty rough stuff in her life as well could feel this joyful because of this Jesus guy, well I want what she has.

Kaitlyn asked for my number, and over the next few weeks she texted me and kept inviting me to church. Finally, after the 3rd time of asking, I went with her. I will never forget the sermon preached that Sunday. The preacher talked about how we all have “thorns” in our life, crosses we have to bear, but we are given these in order to bring us closer to God. We are all so self-indulged, that unless we felt a need to have Christ in our life, we wouldn’t even try.

Wow. What a powerful sermon it was. So I started reading my Bible every night like I did in high school, going through the motions again, thinking that would make me a true Christian. But it just wasn’t working.

Fast forward to February 13th, 2013. I started feel depressed again. I was hopeless, lonely and felt like nothing would ever get better. The walls felt like they were closing in and I was crying so hard I couldn’t breathe. I picked up my phone and texted Kaitlyn. She didn’t even hesitate, she told me to come over. I spent a few hours over at Kaitlyn’s that night telling her how frustrated I was and that I just couldn’t do it alone anymore. So we prayed together and then she prayed over me. I gave my life to Christ that night. I still wasn’t sure what that meant, but I was willing to find out.

It has been about a year since I accepted Christ into my life. My life definitely isn’t perfect – but through all the pain and the trials, I have a HOPE that I NEVER had before. Depression is a battle that I fight everyday – but now I can fight it with the Truth of God’s Word. He has blessed me with so many Christian friends that are such an encouragement to me. He has healed my relationship with my mom – we finally have the relationship that I have always wanted with her. I am doing my best to live for Christ’s will for my life, and not my own. I know now that I am never alone, because God is always there for me even when the whole world walks out.

Because Christ loves me and you SO MUCH,  He gave HIS ONLY SON, to DIE FOR US. What the crap y’all… there is no love greater than that. Romans 5:8 says “But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us”.

We are all here for a purpose, GOD’S PURPOSE. Give up your life to Christ. He loves you and just wants to adopt you as His Child. If you have any questions after reading this, please don’t hesitate to ask !

In Christ, Becca

Testimony Tuesday Part One

Friends,
Today continues our new series where we have a guest blogger who shares their testimony with us!  Becca Simmons is a friend to us and she is a junior at NC State University. She is currently majoring in Animal Science. Her testimony is a blessing and you will be captivated by her transparency and story! Part Two is coming tomorrow so stay tuned!

With great JOY in His salvation,
Leeanne
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I grew up in a big family with 4 siblings and both my parents. I didn’t exactly grow up in a Christian family but we did attend the important holidays and maybe some other Sundays if we all felt like getting up. I wasn’t taught the Word, and never really understood what it meant to be a Christian.

Around the time I was 16 my family had stopped going to church, but I kept going most Sundays. I went to youth group and even attended mission trips every summer. I thought I was doing what I was SUPPOSED to be doing as a Christian. Right? Wrong.

I can’t put my fingers on the first time I really felt depressed but it was probably around the time I was in 8th grade and had just switched schools. In high school, as the years went on, I got more depressed and withdrew more and more from my friends and family. I started going from guy to guy, hoping that something would fill the hole that I felt was growing bigger. By the time I was a senior in high school, I had lost pretty much all my friends because I was just never in the mood to hang out. I started partying and drinking and doing all sorts of drugs, just because I WANTED to fit in so bad. I was dating a guy at the time, and did all sorts of physical things with him just to feel wanted.

Then college came around. I was so pumped to FINALLY make some friends, and then maybe my depression would just disappear. Right? Wrong again my friend. Freshmen year of college was one of the roughest years. I started hanging out with all these different people, joined a sorority, slept around, partying it up, I started doing cocaine pretty heavily, hoping that something would finally make me feel whole and happy. Unfortunately, everything I did just made my depression worse.

My sophomore year came around, and I was back ‘friendless.’ The only person I really had in my life was the guy I was dating, but that was purely a physical relationship. I didn’t know where to go or who I could turn to that would just listen. I started cutting myself to ease the pain, started planning how I would kill myself. One night, during winter break of my sophomore year, I had just gotten into a huge fight with my mom. She told me she hated me, and I finally decided that enough was enough. If my mom hated me, then I must really be unlovable. I got into my car, and started driving like a maniac. I told myself that if I drove fast enough into a tree, then maybe, just MAYBE, it would kill me instantly and all this pain would be over.

Now I know that it was all the Holy Spirit, but at the time I couldn’t have told you what stopped me from crashing my car that night. When I went back to school after break in January, I was lifeless. I would literally crawl out of bed, only looking forward to the next time I would be able to get back into bed. I didn’t want to live anymore, but I was too afraid to kill myself because what if death was worse. So I just existed, and man it was horrible.

Announcement and Burdens of Today

Dear Friends,

We are excited to announce that our blog will be moving over to Wordpress in a couple of weeks. We feel that Wordpress best meets our needs for hosting our blog and all the big dreams we have for the future! The Lord has been so very kind to Jill and me and when our writing adventures began several years ago we never thought we would see it come as far as it has. He has given us vision and goals for the years ahead and we are eager to obey and walk in faith. We will continue to post here and on our new blog for the next two weeks then we will turn off our blogspot blog. You can go ahead and check out our new spot at Wordpress. It will match the current content we post here as well.

http://prayingthroughlife.com

Grateful to walk through life with you all!
Leeanne and Jill

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Burdens of Today

"Do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself.  Sufficient for the day is its own trouble."   Matthew 6:34

I am type A personality.  I joke and often say OCD, although that is nothing to joke about, but I definitely have tendencies.  My tasks and responsibilities often become my burdens.  Why is it on a Friday after teaching school I can go outside and play with my children in the driveway, play a board game and watch a movie with my husband feeling fine about it all?  Monday-Thursday after school I am a different person.  I am focused on chores, tasks and the responsibility of making sure it's all done.  

This winter we have had several snow days (as most people!).  As soon as the next day is called off, I am back to the me I get along with best (and the one everyone else gets along with best).  I have often looked around me so accusatory.  If she would just make her lunch, if he would finish his homework, if she would just take her shower and get ready for bed, if I could just finish folding this laundry, etc.....then I would be able to relax and get along with people better.  

The truth of the matter is, it's me- it's my issues that I am projecting on everyone else.  Yes, if they would just do their task (s) then I would be able to relax more.  But, like weekends and snow days, if I would just relax, things might get done with more peace for all.  Do you have anything that is more your issue than others, but you keep blaming the others for your issue?

God has started to work on this with me.  Taking the unnecessary, stressful emotions out of the day to day routine.  If I can do it on a snow day, weekends, and track outs than I can certainly do it otherwise.  In the meantime, I'll be working on making small changes and trying to not be anxious about getting ready for tomorrow.  

Warmly,

Jill

Testimony Part II

Be ready to be blessed by Part II of Sherri's testimony! 

Walk in Faith,

Leeanne

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We prayed for wisdom to know undeniable peace, and wisdom to discern good from God’s best. We prayed that the Lord would clearly open doors and then we would be faithful to walk through them, whatever they are. My husband’s accountability partner said too him, “why don’t you go back to school and get another degree.” What? That same week my old boss was moving and the new person called me to interview for the same position, except he was looking for someone part time.

“Part time”, I said. You mean I could work and also pick my kids up from school? It was perfect and the Lord had provided. Just as a side note, this was a position I had worked at ten yeasr earlier and I had kept my small retirement account there open. Never thinking I would ever work there again, but the Lord knew, didn’t He? Meanwhile my husband applied for schoo,l got in, got his old transcripts, things transferred over, classes were open, school grants were given,  everything happened so smoothly and quickly. We were amazed. This was how the Lord worked and He alone opened these doors. So my husband started school and I started work, and our lifestyle changed drastically. For the first time ever, my husband was home in the mornings, got the kids ready for school, many times brought them to school, picked them up, helped with homework, we were a team and it was wonderful. For the past ten years, he had always been out the door on the morning at 5:15 to head to the kitchen. Now, having him around and invested in this way was life changing. He started attending a Tuesday Morning Men’s breakfast, and it was life changing. It challenged in him in many ways, he loved it so much he started bringing our son and they bonded. I watched their relationship grow and transform from father and son to two brothers in Christ. Then he started bringing both our boys. You talk about a blessing, there are no words to adequately explain the blessing of having your children and husband start their week with a men’s breakfast and accountability and bible study. I watched the Lord at work in their lives and I watched my boys relationships with men at our church transform them. They learned to serve and learned to speak up in front of others, they learned to speak with adults and find scripture to shape their thoughts, it was life changing. 

As a result of going back to work, comes the blessing of the people I work with. The Lord put into my life an amazing boss and his sweet family and a remarkable coworker.  This coworker loves the Lord and openly shared her family and experiences with me. We’ve laughed so hard we’ve cried, we’ve finished each other’s sentences, she’s challenged me to think more openly, that life isn’t always black and white. I sometimes have “gray troubles”.  She has given my family vacations, her husband has been a wonderful friend too my husband. I have watched her children arise and call her blessed and seen what that actually looks like. There are too many stories to share how rich my life is because of her.  

All of these blessings came because my husband lost his job. These are blessings worth more than rubies and diamonds.  Our family and friends have challenged us, and loved us deeply with gifts, vacations, time and encouragement and most of all prayer. Truth be told, I would much rather give than receive but we had to receive. We had to say, “thank you, this means more than you know and I cannot repay you, literally I cannot repay you.” And I learned that these people God put in our lives wanted to love us that deeply, they wanted to give too us and I was robbing them of a blessing if I received these gifts poorly. I learned to receive these gifts well and to share openly about what the Lord was doing in our life and our marriage. That means sharing personal things, oh I tell you what, I did NOT like doing that. But I shared, later rather than sooner, but no worries, the Lord and dear friends didn’t give up on me. 

So now finally, two years after my husband started school he is on the last leg. Our journey however is not. His graduation is coming soon. He has only one class left so last Fall he started interviewing for positions in his new field of work, positions that people told him would be plentiful. The positions are not there. Should we now in this darkness, darkness of him finally finishing school,  studying his nights away and now finding that there are no jobs available, stop trusting the Lord? No, it is now in this darkness that we trust even more that His ways are much better and higher than ours. It’s easier to trust in the light, you can see pretty well but in the darkness we’ve learned to reflect on His goodness, remember His faithfulness and look with expectation and what HE has already prepared in advance for us. 

The interviews dwindled and there was nothing in this new field that my husband had been preparing for. Then his old boss, from the kitchen, calls. They talk and catch up. I hear my husband pray, “Lord I am excited about what you have in store for me, even if it means I’m back in the kitchen.” Those were precious words to hear.  I’ve been able to watch my great and wonderful Savior transform my husband and draw him closer to Himself, having a front seat to that is indeed the best place to be.

Are you wondering about the bank account? Well almost three years later from when this journey started, my husband is back in the kitchen. The bank account was brought down to almost nothing. The Lord really stretched me in that way. But during this time we had to purchase a new vehicle. The Lord provided. He was not going to allow me to place my trust in that $ amount, I had to learn and continue to learn that He provides in ways I cannot imagine.  Ways like some precious girlfriends bringing over BAGS of amazing clothes one night just for fun (when I had said to myself earlier that week, no I will not spend $3.89 at the thrift store). 

My husband took this job, only about one month after a Godly accountability partner said to me,   ” I am going to pray that he is in his job and well-adjusted by the end of winter” ! He started the last day of February. We are tremendously thankful for this journey. The Lord has given my husband and sons so many sweet moments of memorable time together that they will probably never have again. I often said to my husband, “other than this whole no-paycheck thing, I really LOVE our lifestyle of you being home.”  The journey continues and we have received blessings from His hand that we couldn’t have imagined. The verse in John about Him wanting us to live life abundantly has struck home as He is a lavish God who genuinely wants us to feel the joy that He alone can give. Thank you for allowing me to share my journey.

With Joy,

Sherri ~ 919-802-2962      http://GreenFlash-Productions.com 

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