Your Inner Circle, Part Two

Psalm 139:13-16 “For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb.  I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.  My frame was not hidden from you when I was made in the secret place.  When I was woven together in the depths of the earth, your eyes saw my unformed body.  All the days ordained for me were written in your book before one of them came to be.”

There was a time in my life where I did not know or believe God’s love for me.  I was drowning in my own emotions, felt like a misfit in this world and was filled with self-loathe.  My self-talk was abusive towards myself.  Any accomplishment was never good enough or self-criticized.  I was struggling with bulimia and although was too skinny, I considered myself too fat.  I disrespected myself in every way.  What I didn’t understand at that time, is my self-abuse was also being disrespectful to my Creator.  My depression was all about me and nothing about God.

If this resonates with you at all, you too can overcome the feelings of worthlessness and despair.  One of the first steps is to gain a godly perspective.  Reread the verses above.   God created you in your mother’s womb, He thought of you before the beginning of time.  There is no accident in that.  God has purpose and knows the plans for your life (Jeremiah 29:11).  Every part of your mind, body, gifts and talents He thought of especially for you, whether you agree or disagree with His design. 

Spend time with your Creator.  Learn about His love for you.  Meditate on His Word, memorize it.  Pray with Him—have short and long conversations opening up to Him in your inner circle.  Over time, and with time and discipline, your mind will be transformed through the power of His Word.  He will heal your destructive self-talk and replace it with healthy, God breathed affirmations.  Invite the Holy Spirit to work miracles in your heart. 

Warmly,

Jill

Where is God in Your Circle?

Psalm 139: 1-4 “Oh Lord, you have searched me and you know me.  You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar.  You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways.  Before a word is on my tongue you know it completely, O Lord.”

Psalm 139 brings comfort to me knowing God is all-seeing, all-knowing and all-powerful.  In the human realm, people only know what we tell them or what they observe.  Beyond that, they can make judgments—some accurate and some out of preconceived notions.  I often describe my friendships in circles.  I have my “inner circle” and these are the friends that I share the dirt with.  They know most of my fears, my struggles with sin and dreams, hopes and aspirations.  The "mid-circle"  may know some of this, but certainly not as much as the inner circle.  And then there is the outer circle, which are my acquaintances—those I still consider friends, but I do not know the details of their daily life and they do not know mine. 

Which circle does God fall into for you?  Do you share the intimate details of your daily life—the dirt, your fears, struggles and sin, dreams, hopes, desires and aspirations?  Or is He in your mid-circle where He knows some, but only intermittently?  Possibly, He is merely in your outer circle—where you consider Him part of your life, but do not consult with Him daily or consider the fact that He knows you best. 

We let others know and see what we want them to.  On the flip side, we hide what we do not want them to see and do not share out of fear they will discover something.  God already knows everything about us, even the number of hairs on our heads (Matthew 10:30), and still accepts us and loves us.  Isn’t that comforting?  God is always in our inner circle with us.  His greatest  gift is to allow us to know Him, turn to Him and become more like His Son, Jesus.  

Warmly,
Jill

What my 4 year old Taught Me

Recently I got a wonderful glimpse into the beauty and heart of a child. A few Saturdays ago my husband and I were getting ready for the day and my 4 year old came downstairs with a bag of toys. She told me she wanted to give these to her friend who was having a birthday party that morning. When I looked in the bag I was a little shocked at what she had put inside.  Many of the toys were my daughter's favorites. Sadly, my first reaction was to tell her she probably shouldn't give those away because my daughter liked them so much. She looked at me very matter of fact and said, "Mom, these are my friend's favorites to play with over here so I thought she would really be happy if she could keep them at her house". Wow!  The tears started flowing and I hugged my daughter and told her how proud I was of her and that Jesus was giving her such a tender heart and heart for loving others.

My husband came back in the room and I told him what happened and he just said, "Praise God. She is learning to hold loosely to things of this world. Let her give away whatever she wants". We both talked about how these are the moments in parenting that bring great joy. The day to day grind of training, correcting, modeling, etc. are hard. Then God in His kind and perfect way gives us parents who feel torn down, weary and tired a beautiful glimpse that it is paying off and the hours of prayer, sacrifice, and discipline on the parents part matters. It so matters!

My daughter was so proud to give this gift to her friend. She was beaming the whole car ride over. Once she got home I asked her about the party and the first thing she said to me was, "Mom, those toys are gone now. But that is OK, we have lots of other toys and it made my friend so happy". Yes it did baby girl and it made this momma happy.

We have an Altar Box where we keep mementos of God's goodness to us throughout the year. I put a small toy of Rachel's in there to remind me that the joy in giving is so much bigger than the gift. It is a divine attribute of Christ. He gave His life for us. Hold on loosely to things of this world. Only Christ matters. My baby girl taught me so much that weekend. Funny thing how God uses children to teach us adults divine lessons. I love the beautiful soul she is and how Christ is beginning to penetrate her heart. My prayer for her since I found out I was pregnant 5 years ago is that she would be a leader for Christ in this world and spread His fame with the talents, treasures, and time He gives her. He did that this weekend. I am so very grateful for a bag of princess toys, wooden staking blocks and fake fruit. It is a moment in my life that I will never forget.

Give praise to the Lord, proclaim his name; make known among the nations what he has done.
Sing to him, sing praise to him; tell of all his wonderful acts.
Glory in his holy name; let the heart of those who seek the Lord rejoice.
Look to the Lord and his strength;
seek his face always.
Psalm 105:1-4

With JOY,
Leeanne